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Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]

Well, here it is...

January 27th, 2007 (01:52 pm)

January 27th again.

I go in to work tonight in two hours...

Comments

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 01:52 pm (UTC)
American Beauty

Twisted?????

it should have been me,
not some 17 year old he ran off with to Arizona.
Who got her shit together and went back to college...........

and left him twisting in misery away from everyone he knew.

She told me when I saw her, and I did see her....
She sought me out.
That he had been diagnosed as, how the fuck do you spell
sktzofrenic?

Yeah.
That helped Steph.
I told her to get the fuck out of my house.

She cried.
I told her again.

GET
THE FUCK OUT
OF MY HOUSE.

you are the stupid cunt who got him back on speed
and took him far far far away from me.

FIXED yourself...
And left him twisting alone.

until he died.

I don't care that you found him,
I don't care how young you are.

You should have been made to clean that bathroom.

and one of these days, I keep telling myself.......
I will forgive her. And go on.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 02:15 pm (UTC)
American Beauty

she has become as much an IDEA as he has.

I really do need to meet her.
Not like nine years ago.

Shit, she's got to be about 27.
And either FUCKED UP......and lost.
Or not.

I suppose I fear the "NOT".

So much in me...is left over.
There were times when I could have literally killed her.
Choked her slowly in my hands.

Yeah.
That's Healthy.

HE WAS CLEAN.
HE WAS NOT CRAZY.

I got him HERE!!!!!
all the way from California.

With a bike and a duffle bag.
I gave him the first safe warm home he had ever had.

AND SHE TOOK HIM.
SHE DIDN'T JUST TAKE HIM.........
she moved into my home.
my house.
our house.

I let her.

with her things and her baggage and her horrible horrible stories.
and she took him back to the place he had been trying to escape since before
I met him.

Drozd. I remember the DAY i met him.

she got him the shit, and they did it together and they did it in my home.

and the job he was so proud of........he stole from.
and they called it romantic.

and when I was SENT HOME BY MY LOVEJOYS BARTENDERS TO TAKE CARE OF MY
SHIT...........because Byerly refused to sell me another beer in the same shirt I had
been wearing........

oh god, I couldn't sleep at home.

I bought a shirt at GOODWILL, and came back.

having slept on another lovejoys bartender's couch........

And then had the nerve, to throw them OUT.

I threw them out.

Jesus Drozd.........I still have the shirt.
Pearl snap button western short sleeve red plaid.

3.25

I threw him out, Sarah.
and he died.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: January 29th, 2007 02:22 pm (UTC)
American Beauty

I'm not done with this.
I want to be.

But there is too much.

I want to forgive, but I haven't.

And jesus christ, sometimes I still wear that shirt.

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