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Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]

Where Will I go...

July 21st, 2006 (02:59 am)
current song: Love Is Like A Bottle Of Gin/The Magnetic Fields

In future, when the night wakes me with a sense of the profound?

Something tugged at me tonight, and I woke and made my way through the darkness...
To the machine, hitting the space bar to light the room.

Someone close to me had written something.
Someone close to me, was awake too.

I read what may be erased by morning.
I replied.

I found a cigarette and a beer and let myself out the door...so as not to wake the Boy.

I watched across the empty pool, the court, a young man sitting at his computer...
Through a lit and open window.

I suddenly felt the melancholy that I had searched for before.

I will miss this place.
Miss being part of this strange hive.

Where always there is something and someone...always.
Stacked on top of each other, families and students and drifters...
A mix of the mundane and the nearly dangerous.

I sat against the outside of my wall, my back against the rough grey wood
in my little black night gown, strap falling off my shoulder, knees to my chin.
I smoked my cigarette and looked at the night sky. The young man across the way...
at his computer.

I thought about the turns that it takes to get to my door.
How I always championed my position: Demons cannot turn corners.

Japanese, Okinawan legend...the corners.

I live at an odd point in the space of this place.
You have to turn wildly sharp corners
to walk through my door
from any direction.



Where will I go, in the House?
When I wake at moments like these?

And how will I convolute the entrance to our Home.......
Find corners.


How will I continue to feel and be felt.
He stirs behind me now and I wonder if the clicking of my keys have woken Him......

There is so much in front of me I do not understand yet, and only in the quiet hours
do I realise this.

I am not yet aware of how to be part of two.
I suppose you learn as each day unfolds.
As one learns anything.

I have fought so long and so hard for my self.
Independent.
Alone.

He meets me where I stand.

I said that to him tonight, and he smiled, not knowing...
He took it, another I love you.

Again, I suppose....it is.


In my olde world of jesus and bibles and sacrifice...
that was a phrase used often, to describe how god will always be
exactly where you are, when you stop fighting him and ask him inside.

You don't have to be anything more than able to let him...
He will meet you where you stand.

My Benjamin is no god, and I--I am no saint.

But he meets me where I stand.

the corners i need will be found....

We are two spirits rounding a corner--the door is open.

Comments

Posted by: Jenny (woodwhat)
Posted at: July 21st, 2006 10:38 am (UTC)
eye spy

Beautiful.

Posted by: a fit of obviousness (theycallmegah)
Posted at: July 21st, 2006 02:16 pm (UTC)

Last night was a corner for me. The demons shall not follow.

Thanks for helping me see that.

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: July 23rd, 2006 06:43 pm (UTC)
Re: hi

Thak-you!
It's wonderful to hear from you.
I can't even remember why we fell out, and I'm not going to try.

I'm adding you back to my FList, and look forward to catching up
on your Universe...

What a strange little Town of circles and cycles we live in.
I love it.

^_^

Posted by: Disophy (disophy1)
Posted at: July 24th, 2006 03:00 pm (UTC)
and in all the small worlds

Hello Sinderella! How have you and the gang been? Hope to be back in AUS for ACL weekend. Are you going? drop me a line sometime.....disophy1@mac.com Cheers-C.

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