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Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]

I am thinking about this woman so much....

June 26th, 2006 (12:23 am)

As I consider myself...as someone who could Teach?

Can I remove myself enough for what this world requires?
My heroes didn't remove themselves. They stood very strongly in the road, and gave
me advice. Ms. Moore who would give you an F if you used the word alot.
ALOT she would say loudly, is not a word--and even if you divide it, it is something that
means NOTHING. Of all the words in the language available to you, A LOT is what you
choose??? (i was PURE evidence that you could misspell anything else as long as
you were trying... She CHOSE her battles.)

I loved her.
She told me, privately, when I did not know in the 8th grade what the word
DYKE meant, what it meant.
I had heard it in a joke and not gotten it. I knew I could ask her quietly, what
ANY word meant. She would tell me.
She gave me the best definition I have ever been given. I wish I could tell you...
what she said--I wish I could remember her exact words. Because what she said
to me, made me ever understand DYKE not to be a negative word.

Many years later, I would realise.....she was one.
An adult looking back, and understanding.

She made me bigger, when I did not even know it.

But this, I want to share THIS with you...
My Creative Writing Instructor my Senior year of High School...
She had the NERVE to write this, in her own hand, in the back of my Class Journal.

Signed the damn thing with her name.
TODAY--she would be fired and sued and buried.

She cared about me.
I had told her I was thinking of eloping with my sweet-heart.
I was going to run off at 18--and be happy as a wife.

But she KNEW me.
She...SHE was my TEACHER.

In the back of my last Journal that I turned in that year...me with all my A's?
She wrote THIS:


You, of course, are a very special writer. I hope life doesn't disrupt your dreams. You
are a total romantic, a dreamer. Yet you do come up with amazingly accurate
observations sometimes. Every so often you make a statement that absolutely stuns
me. I relate. My advice would be to continue your short range goals--
go to RCC, take creative writing classes. Then transfer to a four year college--
major in Creative Writing--get an MFA.
Don't wrap your life up in any man, however, no matter how wonderful. Keep balanced,
focused. Andy is wonderful, but you have years of growth & changing before you know
yourself. Marriage sounds glamourous & romantic now but wait.
You can have a relationship with Andy & not marry him right now, you know--
or even next year. Wait to marry, at least until after you both graduate from a four year
college. So here's my advice even though you didn't ask for it. Continue writing!
Stay in touch. GOOD LUCK, DREAMS!

Love Ms Muldoon


If you marry now or spend all your time being "someone's woman" you could lose
your identity, your ability to create independently---This is essential for an artist.
Being in love is fun but it's not everything. I hope I don't sound pessimistic
I'm trying to be logical, just realistic.

I did marry the boy,
It lasted ten months.
I never finished school.

She signed it.
She owned it.
I have slowly slowly.......grown into it.
And grown.
And grown out of it.

But I needed her.
I needed her to tell me this.

She made me want to TEACH.

She reminds me to TEACH.


Posted by: lolliejean (lolliejean)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 05:32 am (UTC)

That is awesome. AWESOME. I had a couple of teachers like that and they are the only ones I remember. So weird, I was thinking about them last night and then here you are writing about this.

So yeah. She was one smart, courageous and insightful lady. Whatcha gonna do now darlin? : )

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 05:44 am (UTC)
There is So much Hope....

I'm a bit frightened, to be honest.

Maybe that's why I'm pulling out her poetry.

I'm excited and scared.

Posted by: a (ohchicken)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 05:52 am (UTC)
etty hillesum and kitty

friend, you already ARE this kind of teacher.

Posted by: They call me 'Benton' (die7fox)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 12:50 pm (UTC)

My 8th grade English teacher did two things for me:

She explained the word "slut"; not just what it means today, but what it meant originally.

She got me hooked on Sidney Sheldon. :-)

I will miss her till my dying day.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 05:46 pm (UTC)
Grasshopper Mouse!

Kick ASS!

Hey, what was it's original meaning, if I may ask?

Posted by: They call me 'Benton' (die7fox)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 05:50 pm (UTC)

It originally meant a dirty or slovenly woman. In the 17th, 18th, and early part of the 19th centuries, a "slut" or "slattern" was a girl who did menial household labor; which, of course, would make one dirty or slovenly. Over time, it morphed into defining a sexually promiscuous woman.

Posted by: Pumping Iron Hearts (woundedmarigold)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 03:37 pm (UTC)

I can relate to this now.

I am scared. And I'm stalling...

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 05:32 pm (UTC)

But you are THERE...you've worked sooooo HARD!!!
I've watched you grow up on this damn thing...
You were a teenager when I met you here.

Is it really that terrifying?
You are not making me want to go sign up for college
at the ripe age of 35.


Posted by: Pumping Iron Hearts (woundedmarigold)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 11:24 pm (UTC)

College is great. I'd go back in a heartbeat.

Growing up is the part I'm having a hard time with.

Real world and all that it involves...

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: June 27th, 2006 12:41 pm (UTC)

I guess I've been out here for awhile...
My version, anyway.

The school is what scares me.

Posted by: Pumping Iron Hearts (woundedmarigold)
Posted at: June 27th, 2006 06:19 pm (UTC)

Have you applied anywhere?

Posted by: emily (tugena13)
Posted at: June 26th, 2006 05:35 pm (UTC)


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