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Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]

I have to go to work soon......

May 28th, 2006 (05:25 pm)

I am not in the right state of mind.
I know I will be when I get there--the energy of the place takes over.

but NOW...

he just left, came by to spend a moment with me before I have to head in.
it was a strange collection of moments.

My men are never like this.
They are talkers, we share sensibilities.

He's one of those men I have only read about.
*laughs at herself*
A man of action, few words.

I am entirely confused.
I need words.
I need words.

I can feel him, I can sense things....but there is no clarification.
I get torn up trying to make him feel comfortable, and making myself comfortable.
I say fewer words.
I gag on them...push them into my belly.

Look into him until I have to look away, and still no words.
I want to be his easy place.
His escape.

Bending over backwards is a stretch I am not used to...I hear my shoulder crackle
and pop. I feel a strange release.

It is different...to have to try so hard.
To learn a new language.

I stretch and stretch.......this is new.

I told him it would be fine if we took a break, he has tomorrow off too...
Maybe he should go do things with friends, with the dogs?

He eyes me quizzically, Why?


I DON'T KNOW WHY--*head in hands, fingers digging through hair*

i don't know why.
i don't know anything.

I don't know if I am bothering you, if I am overstepping, if I am....
I don't know anything.

He smiles.
I melt.

He goes off to find a taco.

I pull on my dark blue cuffed Dickies jeans that fit again...and my Doc Martins.
I will need ankle support tonight, and familiar things close to my skin.

Everything is so new.


Posted by: I'm on a horse (celticcowboy68)
Posted at: May 29th, 2006 02:17 am (UTC)

Good luck.

It's sad that 37 years later, that's all the relationship advice I have that's worth a damn. No wonder I'm single.


Posted by: Orin (rin_o)
Posted at: May 29th, 2006 03:52 am (UTC)

that sounded so cute, teeth hurt more now.

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