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Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]

Bad Habits.

October 22nd, 2005 (04:18 am)
current song: Cold Light, Yeah Yeah Yeahs

There's always been a mirror over my machine.
Even when it was a typewriter and the mirror was a window pane.

1991, When I was in school in California, I had a little wooden wine box that I kept
my typewriter on as a desk. It sat under the huge window that looked out on
the San Bernardino Mountains when the sun was up. After the sun set, it was
just a view of my own face. I wrote a lot of papers to the view of the later.
I got used to it.

I learned to talk to myself...
Scream, curse and throw the finger...and sometimes finish papers.

When I moved into the Tree House nearly 6 years ago...I didn't have a machine.
Father gave me one for my 30th birthday.

I made a place for it....eventually.
And I hung a dressing mirror sideways above it.

I find being able to to look myself in the face, keeps me more honest.

I don't have papers due anymore...but I still give myself the finger on occasion.

And I've gotten better at talking to myself.

The mirror doesn't need me to be pretty...
it needs me to see.

It's been a weird night.
I am worried about so many things.
I have no resources.

No.
I cannot FIND my resources.

So I took pictures of myself...
Held the camera high.
I thought I would see something in my eyes.





I don't see anything.

Maybe I should have taken off the glasses.

*head in hands*

It's going to crack soon, isn't it?

The shell is too tight.
I want next to happen.
I want to start again.

It's very small in here.

Comments

Posted by: emily (tugena13)
Posted at: October 22nd, 2005 10:32 am (UTC)

you look slightly scared and anxious.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: October 22nd, 2005 11:53 am (UTC)
Black Cat Burns

True.
I can see that.

Posted by: stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder (433)
Posted at: October 22nd, 2005 03:11 pm (UTC)

And super cute.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: October 22nd, 2005 04:59 pm (UTC)
Grover&Bob

Silly Monster

Posted by: a girl called m (ex_flyingin)
Posted at: October 22nd, 2005 05:25 pm (UTC)

you are adorable and silly and remind me of myself in ways. mind if i add you?

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: October 23rd, 2005 02:06 am (UTC)

Certainly!

Posted by: Heresiarch (radixx)
Posted at: October 23rd, 2005 12:34 am (UTC)
Fish!

Interesting and cool to see contemplative pix, but being the perv that I am; I got distracted by cleavage.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: October 23rd, 2005 02:11 am (UTC)
Tankgirl

Look me in the eyes, fishboy!

^_^

Posted by: Heresiarch (radixx)
Posted at: October 23rd, 2005 02:57 am (UTC)
Fish!

I didn't want to draw attention to your hot new glasses...um yeah, that's it!

Posted by: Organizational Anarchist (napalmgod)
Posted at: October 24th, 2005 03:47 pm (UTC)

Eyes? What eyes? Oh, up there. ya.

Posted by: Orin (rin_o)
Posted at: October 23rd, 2005 01:55 pm (UTC)

i can't look in mirrors, but if they work for you then good!

11 Read Comments