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Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]


May 25th, 2005 (07:17 pm)
current song: True Mathematics

Dear god...I just returned from CONSUMER LAND.
I just, I just needed a tube of lipstick...



Do you know you can buy PINK tools now?
With rubber no slip grips.....that hang on your wall...so cute...

(you have tools ginger)

I filled my little hand basket....
with cheap crap.
A whistle on a red cord...
A pink tape measure on a key chain...
A shiny metal doggie bowl with paws on it...

(ginger, you don't have a doggie)

A poison oak first aid kit...
and a pair of pink and orange polka dot socks.

I went left instead of right--(the direction your ACTUAL intended purchase was)
And cruised through the jewelry and hand bags...

(you don't wear jewelry ginger, and you HATE hand bags)

I wandered the aisles of tiny sheer pastel clothing...
gagging and wincing, but fingering the fabric...

(is it the LIGHTING in there??? Does it hypnotise?)

I scurried over to the little boy's department--to escape
and look for a cool Sith T-shirt in Boy's SM...

A little old lady looking at sports socks--turned to me,
with no hesitation what-so-ever...began talking to me
like I was her sales clerk.

I must have that FACE, years in the Service Industry...
I am constantly stopped regardless of what I am wearing.
Today I was in sagging torn cuffed Lucky Jeans and a black tank.
Braless and in Flip flops.

It didn't matter.
Somehow....the little old lady KNEW.
And she was right.

"How do you tell the size on these things?"
She asked, smiling at me expectantly.

I stopped and turned--looked around and confirmed
that I was the only one there.

I put my hand basket down and walked over.

It's in the corner here on the right side of the tag, Ma'am.
These are all for women with size 5 to size 10 shoes sizes.
They stretch quite a bit...

"It's not this 2 here?"
points to the number telling you how many Pair in the bundle.

No Ma'am, that just tells you how many pairs of socks there are.
The size is in the corner here...Where it says size 5 to size 10.

I smiled, she smiled.

"But these aren't all white, I want them all white..."

I showed her another rack, with all white.

"I am a size 6, will these fit me?"
She asked.

I pulled a pair from the rack and handed them to her.

Here you go! These are all white and they will fit you.

"Oh, thank you so much!" she beamed...and walked off muttering
happily that they were only $3.99 and that that was a good price...

She was a dear, but I do hope she isn't driving.
But I know...she is.

I wandered into the toy department--and left quickly.
The "BRATZ" dolls now have a "PUNKZ" line of male and female dolls...
They even have a BAR.
They call it the PUNKZ PARTY SPOT....

Granted...my Barbie had a Hot Tub....but.....but...


My tummy hurt--So

I ran to the kitchen department and fondled little cutting boards.
It made me feel better.
I stuck one in my basket.

I looked at glassware, and coveted a set of thin blown glass rocks glasses.
But I have no more room--so I fingered them and put them back on the shelf.

In household, I picked up and put back a SPIDERMAN toilet seat--FOUR times.

I walked through the DVDs and allowed as how I REALLY don't need to buy
the last season of ANGEL....Yet.

Then into the make-up.

It took seconds to find a 2 dollar tube of slutty blue-red lipstick...
Last one of it's kind on the shelf.

I was once given Two tubes of Channel Lipstick as a gift.
I enjoyed them.
But really could not see that they were 48 dollars BETTER
than my old favourites.

Not really.
And the cheap stuff stains your lips, even after you've eaten it off...
And needn't be reapplied so often.


I looked into my basket.
And shook my head....

Systematically returning each item,
to it's proper place.

I left with my lipstick...
And a Healthy Fear of Commerce.


Posted by: emily (tugena13)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 12:39 am (UTC)

i always get that mistaken-for-an-employee thing in record stores. *shrug*

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 01:31 am (UTC)
Perhaps it isn't the FACE.....
Solid Grin

It's in the EYES.

I'd know to ask you, too.


Posted by: Pumping Iron Hearts (woundedmarigold)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 12:59 am (UTC)
In a cup

So weird.

I just came back from TARGET.

I needed a marble composition notebook.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 01:33 am (UTC)
And you cam back with.....
Boy Of Steel

A marble composition notebook and PINK TOOLS


i know.


*knocks your fist*

Posted by: Pumping Iron Hearts (woundedmarigold)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 01:49 am (UTC)
Re: And you cam back with.....

I didn't see pink tools at my TARGET.


Beside the marble composition notebook, I bought purple colored paper legal pads, cream soda in bottles, and a coconut air freshner for my car.


Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 01:51 am (UTC)
Re: And you camE back with.....
Spidey Sense

I should have gotten the SPIDERMAN toilet seat.
It was the LAST one....


Posted by: Pumping Iron Hearts (woundedmarigold)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 01:55 am (UTC)
Re: And you camE back with.....

You should have!

I wanted to buy an $80 palm tree.

I didn't have $80.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 03:05 am (UTC)
Re: And you camE back with.....
Spidey Sense

I didn't have 15.99 for a SPIDERMAN toilet seat.

We're all better for the experience.

*laughs and laughs*

Posted by: Disophy (disophy1)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 01:00 am (UTC)
Systematically returning each item

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.......................LLLLLLLL..........LLLL... let me catch my breath.

Thanks for the good laugh.

You just know you're going to be the most entertaining old lady in the store.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 01:34 am (UTC)
Re: Systematically returning each item
Holy Shit...

I HOPE, Charles....


Posted by: Glenn (gev)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 04:50 am (UTC)

I was afraid there for a sec that you'd bought some of the crap.
should have known better from the start.
I think you should go back for the Spiderman toilet seat though. :)

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: May 26th, 2005 07:34 am (UTC)
Re: whew!
Spidey Sense

i know....


Posted by: Laurie A (chevrefeuilles)
Posted at: May 27th, 2005 07:36 am (UTC)

i'm so glad you helped that lady who was confused about the socks.


Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: May 28th, 2005 10:31 am (UTC)
The Sisters

So am i.

I don't have any grandparents left.

I've lost all of the moments...
All of the stories.

She looked at me with such trusting eyes.

I stood UP when I spoke with her.
shoulders back.

The gods come to you in such guise.
I never forget that.

Posted by: reed, flute, arrow, blade, star, jelly jar (red_raccoon)
Posted at: May 27th, 2005 08:02 pm (UTC)
stores ARE wierd...

Long ago, my friends and I ate mushrooms and went to WinCo (a giant ghetto-fab discount supermarkety place). It was like 2:30 in the morn, so the only people there were a couple of employees pushing large wheeled bread carts around. I felt ok even though the florescent lights were annoying me. The enourmously tall aisles of brightly colored and lit consumer goods were fucking with my brain. One of my friends got a little pissed over the 2 whole aisles of water and started ranting in a loud voice, "Goddamnit!! 2 aisles of water!!! This is why everyone hates America!!" I told him to shut his pie hole, because we were leaving right then and there. It was psycadelic, literally....uh...that's my wierd store story...lol...I don't know why I put these things on the internet...lol...

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: May 28th, 2005 10:35 am (UTC)
Re: stores ARE wierd...


You just got the REST of mine.

(remind me to tell you about the day I saw
a Marylin with a bullet hole through it.)

How did you find me?

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