some nearly 15 years old--
looking for a poem that began to trace itself over and over
in my brain on the steps up to my 3rd floor flat.
I can't find it--but I can hear the beginning, and I NEED
to read the rest of it,
I know I'm trying to tell myself something.
And she called again
When she said she would not.
Too much spent ink
on the sum of letters
that were His name....
This will make me nuts.
I know I have it recorded on an old tape,
somewhere--because I hear it in my own voice.
Memorised off that tape, not the page.
I have tomorrow off.