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Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]

This Time....

April 12th, 2005 (12:21 am)

He called me.

>_<

*Sigh*

::sucking back that swollen feeling in my chest, and behind my face, refusing to cry::

I'd gotten off work, just now...
Just walked in the door...


Hey, This is Nick.
I was just calling to see how you were doing...


*sigh*

Hey! How's it goin'?

oh--pretty good I guess...

Yeah? That's good.....

Oh--Um, I meant to call You, actually!
Yeah--um, I was going to tell you to just drop
that stuff off here, for Jaq, you know?

I mean there's no sense now in you paying to
ship it back...

's alright--I already sent it, He got it today I think, I talked with him...
He asked me when I was coming to Vegas...


Yah, *laughs weakly*
Guess you're not coming with me for the Wedding anymore, huh!

I dunno, I pretty much check Cities off my list once I've been...

Yeah.

*silence, awkward long infinite silence*

I miss You.

I know, I'm sorry.

I'm gonna go now--before I ask you if you miss me...
*laughs too empty and too hard*

Yeah...um...

Bye.

Yeah, Bye.

::click::





There was more to it...I guess, I remember asking after Mrs Bojangles the hamster...
And making sure the scooter wasn't in the way...
He said it was fine--not a problem.
Even that a friend of his was interested in buying it
after I got it fixed....

But that's about it.

Near every day
for a year
spent with a person....

Sleeping with them, cooking with them, creating wildly complex inside jokes...

And it becomes
THIS.

Just....
THIS.

I think I may throw up.
@_@
I haven't let the tears--surface.
But my stomach is flipping.

Like a Hamster in a Wheel.


I'm not glad he called.
But, I don't wish he hadn't.




I have to get up at 9:30 AM for an early mid-shift tomorrow...
didn't get out until nearly midnight tonight--and am used to crashing
around 6 AM.

This should be interesting.

*reaches for the Vodka*

Just a little.
For my nerves.
Just a little.

Comments

Posted by: Pumping Iron Hearts (woundedmarigold)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 05:31 am (UTC)
emo

*Pours a drink for herself*

I'm here with you.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 05:38 am (UTC)
o.k. that was it.
Rizzo

I'm crying.

(i love you sarah.)

Posted by: Pumping Iron Hearts (woundedmarigold)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 05:50 am (UTC)
You have a right to
emo

(i love you too.)

Posted by: Glenn (gev)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 05:40 am (UTC)
bleargh

I've got a couple shots left.
I think I'll have them before i hit the hay early like I do on Monday nights.

Prosit!
Kanpai!

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 05:55 am (UTC)
Re: bleargh
Tankgirl

Thanks gev...

I almost feel like I'm sitting at the "LJ Bar"
with You nice Folk.

I can't complain.

Hearts get broken.....
But knowing someone
who'll bury a a body with ya???

PRICELESS.

*GRINS DESPITE HERSELF*

(i LOVE you Guys...Thanks gev.)

Posted by: Glenn (gev)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 06:09 am (UTC)
Re: bleargh

you're beautiful, ya know?

where'd I put that damn shovel?!

Posted by: Speed_Draven_X (sdx)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 07:08 am (UTC)

((*carl j sized bear hugs*))

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 08:46 am (UTC)
I have your book..........
Catwoman

Whenever you need it back?

Call me.

326-9855

Posted by: Orin (rin_o)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 07:09 am (UTC)

i feel.......like i should have something to say.

i should try to help fix this, somehow.


........i'm the last one who shold help with heartache.

i'd offer my shoulder to cry on, my ear to listen..........but i'm not there...

distance is felt acutely, times like this.............

i'm sorry i can't help.....i'm sorry........

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 08:40 am (UTC)
You DO.
Drunk Girl

You DO..........

.........

Could You make me a NEW FACE?
Please?

Posted by: Orin (rin_o)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 04:42 pm (UTC)
Re: You DO.

i....can't even make more for myself.....but i'll try....

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: April 13th, 2005 08:23 am (UTC)
Re: You DO.
Bad Girl

That's all I ask.

*grins*

Posted by: Coffee Shop Whore (skidspoppe)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 03:24 pm (UTC)

And it becomes
THIS.


yeah...

Posted by: slagmonkey (slagmonkey)
Posted at: April 12th, 2005 03:39 pm (UTC)

I remember when I first started working there with you. I said I was gonna make ya a copy of some songs by Jenny Toomey. Lord knows she helped me out with my horrid break up. I'm not a person who posts lyrics but these seemed appropriate...

The Smell Of Him

i'm retiring your jersey
you're the last crazy fuck inside of me
for all your talent and your charm
you were uniquely qualified to bring me harm
so for the first time
maybe the thousandth i'll decline to take your hand
and break up anyway i can


so you can sell it to some soap opera on the network you pursue
and break the willing heart of every ingenue
cuz besides your kindness your wit your style
we both know you were more than half absent most of the while
so for the first time
maybe the fiftieth i can't look into your eyes
we all can lose our faith by and by
so for the first time maybe twice
i can't see you in my life
and I can't make it right
not tonight

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