::sucking back that swollen feeling in my chest, and behind my face, refusing to cry::
I'd gotten off work, just now...
Just walked in the door...
Hey, This is Nick.
I was just calling to see how you were doing...
Hey! How's it goin'?
oh--pretty good I guess...
Yeah? That's good.....
Oh--Um, I meant to call You, actually!
Yeah--um, I was going to tell you to just drop
that stuff off here, for Jaq, you know?
I mean there's no sense now in you paying to
ship it back...
's alright--I already sent it, He got it today I think, I talked with him...
He asked me when I was coming to Vegas...
Yah, *laughs weakly*
Guess you're not coming with me for the Wedding anymore, huh!
I dunno, I pretty much check Cities off my list once I've been...
*silence, awkward long infinite silence*
I miss You.
I know, I'm sorry.
I'm gonna go now--before I ask you if you miss me...
*laughs too empty and too hard*
There was more to it...I guess, I remember asking after Mrs Bojangles the hamster...
And making sure the scooter wasn't in the way...
He said it was fine--not a problem.
Even that a friend of his was interested in buying it
after I got it fixed....
But that's about it.
Near every day
for a year
spent with a person....
Sleeping with them, cooking with them, creating wildly complex inside jokes...
And it becomes
I think I may throw up.
I haven't let the tears--surface.
But my stomach is flipping.
Like a Hamster in a Wheel.
I'm not glad he called.
But, I don't wish he hadn't.
I have to get up at 9:30 AM for an early mid-shift tomorrow...
didn't get out until nearly midnight tonight--and am used to crashing
around 6 AM.
This should be interesting.
*reaches for the Vodka*
Just a little.
For my nerves.
Just a little.