October 21st, 2014


Little Thing

If I don't do it here,
I will just type nonsense to my Therapist.

Yes. I finally have one.
Wanted since I was 13.

In my 20's I asked for one.
Folks said no.
In my 30's I asked for one.
Folks said no.
In my 40's I showed up in an E-Bus at St Davids.
Still ranting, with a .34 BAC.

Austin, said YES.

8 days in a Crisis center.
3 months in IOP (Intensive Out Patient)
And every Thursday I get to talk with Jill.

I balked and left a very good job.
They wouldn't let me take care of my Father.
When I took the Job at "The Austin W Hotel"
The managers in charge?

I was told I would always be able to leave.
To take my Father to Houston's MD Anderson.
Sitting in my interview...
I looked those two women in the eye.
Told them I would not take the job, unless.

They assured me, this would not be a problem.

Turn over.
New people.
Both of them left.
I hadn't had anything signed.
My deal was lost.

I quit.

I was dying anyway.

How can you live entirely alone?
I went to work at 10 PM
I got off around 6:30 AM.
I bought groceries. I went home

I slept, until it was time to go back.

My shift was solo.
Imagine living entirely alone?
One Cook in the kitchen,
me with a wall between us?

I met many important and fashionable people.
Sarah Silverman is as kind and funny and wonderful
as any TV show could have told you.

Lady GaGa surrounds herself with people
she knows from her past. They are nice.
I got to tell them where the fun places in Austin are.
It was a pleasure to go to that scary room.
(one of my first runs solo was GaGa @__@ )

George Eads kissed me on the head...
Because his friend was being an ass.

I brought Champagne to Elton John.
In the little room down stairs.
He doesn't stay in the expensive suite.
He stays with the person who maintains
His costumes.

FUN is fun, they aren't dicks.

Ashton Kutcher is.
He was nice to me.
He treated my coworker
an older Hispanic man?
Like nothing.
Two girls
taking up the suite next door
but attached?
Ordered mad foooooood.
When he brought it up?
He was yelled at, and shamed.

Ashton Kutcher is a DICK.

My coworker, one Saturday night SXSW...
Came down and said: Well they were just weird.
Who is "THE CURE"?



You never know when you go up???
We had "Kubrick" and well... dead, right?
Who the hell would...

*Knock knock knock* "In room dining!"

Jack Black.

But I was dying there.
Fun Fun Fun, but no.
I went home and went to bed at 1 PM
I woke up at 9 PM
I started it all over again.

I had no friends.
I had not time......to be.
I just started to rot inside.

I am trying to dig out of that now.
The job has no money.
I am afraid.
I have one month of rent......

Then Ginger has got to DANCE hard.

I miss the stage.
Maybe this way, I will survive.