December 29th, 2005

Cup & Lip

The Salmon of Doubt

I have been writing on paper.

Have had no desire to come here.

I've been keeping my stories to myself.

Maybe something broke, when I hit my head.

The first few pages were sloppy.....held the pen
but could not control it.

Paper, no lines, a heavy instrument filled with black ink.

Mont Blanc Starwalker--and a well bound blank page.

This has been a difficult year.
I will not be sad to see it close.

Each page I fill and turn, my hand returns a little more.
Cramped fingers that punch at buttons remember how to hold
a pen.

Sweep a line, alone.
No stage.

Jaq, the book...........your present.
I checked it out several times
from the Library
read and read and reread it--
but never read the end.

The part that was actually The Salmon of Doubt.

I saved that part.
For when I owned the book.

I knew once I read it, I would HAVE to own the book.

DNA did not let me down.
He left me swinging...

Breathing hard, and swinging.

His Friends made me cry, as they finished the book for him...
But DNA left me exactly where I needed to be, yesterday.

Completely and entirely aware that all that I have done to get to this place,
to be here, to be Me--is a happy happy accident. An incredibly articulated
collection of coincidences that lead to a life of amazing joy and adventure.

I am not a failure.
I am simply a Ginger.

Somehow, for whatever reason............
Things work out for me.

The account keeps getting filled,
the red haired strangers keep me following............

Every time I open my bag, everything I need is there.
For next.

Thor thunders and crushes packets of crisps
and cats are half found.

I pay attention to road signs, though I do not drive.

I have known of Desmond, and I have met with Desmond.

Tucked in my paper journal is a fortune-cookie slip of paper that reads:
The night life is for you.

I just pasted it above the two that sit front and center on the mirror before me
that read: You create your own stage. The Audience is waiting.
and You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands on.

Silly stuff.

Off to the right there is one that reads: You love the thrill of showmanship
and display.

I do.

But I'm no Rhino.

A Rhino--now that's something!

The Salmon of Doubt

I now know I was right.
It took a nudge.

What I have been doing, the stuff that has made me?

Good Stuff.

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