November 17th, 2005


Hey Everybody

I've been in hibernation...

I needed it.
Sometimes your body just tells you.

I haven't checked my in box, or seen anyone since Friday.
My friend Barry and I had gone for coffee early that afternoon,
and then hit TOY JOY to look for a housewarming gift for the party
we had planned to attend that evening.

When we got in the car I suddenly felt what seemed to be a hang-over.
But I hadn't had that much to drink the night before--Daniel's monthly
"going away party" hadn't been much of a BENDER...still I felt my head
start to spin, and my stomach churn. I began to feel car sick. I never feel car sick.

The cold sweats kicked in and I was dreadfully afraid I was going to toss it,
in Barry's two seater convertible...

Barry dropped me off at home, and returned with my requested "mineral water"--
by then I had already thrown up several times. I didn't get out of bed. He brought me
a glass of the stuff and left quickly--at my request.

I had to laugh--MUCH LATER--when I looked in my fridge and realised why Helen
had said later that evening Well, you have enough Perrier... while putting the
wonderful things they had brought, away in my fridge.

He had brought SIX liters of the stuff. My little fridge could barely hold it all.
Half a case of Perrier was chilling in my icebox. Thank-you Barry!

And thank-you again, Annie and Helen, for being there--for coming
when I needed you most. I really thought I was dying.

People, I literally crawled to the door--Stood, unlocked and opened it,
and then stumbled back to my curled position on the futon.
Annie put her hands on me and swore, I was burning up with fever.

But these two ladies had entered with four shopping bags full of everything
I could possibly have needed. A case of ginger-ale, a bottle of Pepto,
crackers, pretzels, and Gatorade.

I just lay there, and shivered, and breathed as shallowly as possible.
I had tossed my cookies yet again, just before they arrived, and was afraid
to move--lest it start all over again.

They got some pink stuff in me, something for the fever, and poured me a glass
of yellow Gatorade, and sat with me.
Helen kept wanting to get me a cold compress, and Annie
was distressed that I was still in my jeans--and not in comfy jammies.

I refused to move for either.
So they sat with me.
Slowly got some liquids in me, to STAY in me.
Maybe it was their Energy, their Spirit....but I finally started to feel
Human again.

They left reluctantly, making sure I had both of their cell numbers by the phone
on the floor by the futon near my head.

An hour after they left--I barfed it all up again, and had to start over.
But that was the last time. I put on some jammies and crawled in to rest.
Saturday I just fought the fever, and the queasy...and tried to get liquid into
myself. My eyes felt dry, my skin, lips chapped...I knew I was wildly dehydrated.

I've just been resting ever since.
Every muscle in my body hurt. I had absolutely no strength.
Monday I sat at the computer just long enough to let everyone know
I was still alive.

But I crawled back into bed immediately after.
Where I've pretty much stayed.

Tomorrow, I hit the streets again. I've lost a great deal of time.
The Trip to Vegas, and then all of this...
If need be I will just work through these Holidays.
Not go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I really don't see any way around this.
But that will get me out of the hole. And back...
Back into the World.

Lordy, I miss The World.

I've been humbled by all this, in ways I really cannot articulate at this moment.
I simply know that I can do anything that I need to, now.

Even if that's a grave shift at TOYS R US for the next two months.

It's gotta be done.
And I'm not too cool to do it, now.
Black Cat Burns

And Chip Says: (Copy of the News Letter)


Yes, I believe so. Probably at the end of March.


Lots of reasons, I suppose.

Here goes....

When I opened Lovejoys in January of 1994 there was no place like it in Austin. Most of the downtown places were either dance clubs, restaurants or music venues. I wanted a place where the whole goal was just to hang out with your friends, make some new friends and share stimulating conversation over a few beers. Community and camaraderie reigned supreme, everything else was periphery.

People responded, and I was thrilled.

Well, the community is different now. There are lots of places that do the same sort of thing we do. You might say we started something and others followed (and improved upon it, perhaps).

I'm not one to complain about competetion... without competetors, one becomes complacent. Unfortunately, thanks to the powers that be, I'm not playing on the same field as many of my competetors.

When I opened Lovejoys there was an APD sub-station across the street. Next to that was a vending company warehouse, and across the street from the warehouse was a parking lot. Over the last 12 years, the APD substation became a crack-dealing convenience store (oh, the irony!), the vending company warehouse is now a soup kitchen, and the parking lot is now a $7-million dollar homeless shelter. How many businesses are going to survive that?

Well, we did.

Then there came the smoking ban.... [rant] Fuck a bunch of no-good, self-righteous yuppie pricks who never even set foot in this place to begin with. [/rant] ... many of my competetors have facilities better suited to deal with Austin's smoking ban. I have no patio, and no place to put one. (NO, not even the roof. The building is historic; you can't mess with it. And even if you could, we're looking at hundreds of thousands of dollars in engineering upgrades.) People are trying to remain loyal, and I appreciate that, but it's just too easy to go to a place where you can have a beer and a smoky treat at the same time.


I never set out to attract smokers in the first place. Read the first paragraph again. I can't help it if the people who are in to what we do also happen to smoke. And I don't want to change my business to accomidate new people, dammit. I like my concept just the way it is. And if I can't have it the way I want it, then fuck it, I'm out.


Yes, I would. I do believe that the groundwork I put in place could be altered and improved upon by someone with a slightly different vision. I do not claim to be the only person who can run a bar. I would get great satisfaction in seeing someone take Lovejoys to the next level (just like Frank did with Emo's). If anyone is seriously interested in buying the place, then contact Don Busby at 383-0016.

Thanks to everyone who has ever brought something to the conversation at Lovejoys. You have all made my life richer.

Celebrate Your Vices!


metaphorge...that's ONE. and one I couldn't afford to lose.
Black Cat Burns

Some of You Know What This Means....

A small handful of you, know what this MEANS.

maybe four of you.


Joseph Henley Tait, if you are watching, you are the thumb that makes five.

My heart is pounding.

the book

I could never figure out how to begin my book...because it had no end.
"Twenty-Four Flats--a Book of Leaves"
It began when I walked into that bar, February 26th, 1994.

The AUSTIN that I was suddenly a part of. The exchange of humanity that became
everything I wrote about, everything I wanted to write about.

Chip and Charles (disophy1) have been kicking me in the ass for what will be
TWELVE write this thing.

I've balked and backed up, and made excuses.
Just a week ago, I said to Daniel.........

I will never be able to write it, until Lovejoys ENDS.

I grew up THERE.

I owe it The Story.


And me... begging for a JOB?
THIS is my JOB.

This is overwhelming.
I knew....but.
I never believed.
I never thought Club Love would END.

Everything about my Austin.....started at 604 Neches.

Who I am today....grew there. Evolved there.

*cracks her lucky Zippo*


I actually have to DO this now.

*covers her face and cries*