Still hoping beyond all hope I will hear from Travis County about the Dispatch job.
The part time seasonal jobs came and went.
Looking AGAIN--knowing that the moment I find something I have committed myself to?
The phone will ring.
But TODAY...was Good.
I got a really positive email from Pop, he's had a few windfalls with the whole VA situation (long story) and they seem to finally be taking care of some things they should have YEARS ago. He may very soon be given the title 100% disability--since they have now been given absolute evidential proof that his time flying rescue through 'Agent Orange' is in fact what gave him the cancer. (Thus a Precedent.)
For him it is a battle for those of his fellow soldiers who do not have the financial resources he does.
As he mounts letter writing campaign after another, to make sure that the voices of his less fortunate comrades ARE HEARD... I am nothing but MORE proud of a man who has ALWAYS been my Hero.
I'll be leaving for Waxahachie on Saturday, so Pop and Mum and I can make the drive to MD ANDERSON in Houston, for his treatments on Monday. They seem to be...working. We are going to have more time with him. Does not seem there will be a cure...but we may get an extra decade together with this "experimental trial" he was able to make it onto.
Very cheerfully on the phone this afternoon he told me about a "Trust" he was able to work out with his Lawyers...so that when each of us pass, in whatever order? (*cringe*) There will be no legal problems. Not like there would be with a regular will. He was quite chuffed about the whole thing and described how it worked to me in great detail...while I tried to "uh huh" between legal terms...without bursting into tears. He and I spend at least 3 hours a week on the phone, Skype now more often. I really do not like when he starts talking about the money he is leaving behind--apparently it is substantial--I know he wants me to know I will be taken care of? But I never wanted to be taken care of.
I just want my Pop.
I did my taxes today.
I only worked for about 4 months this last year, but I'm getting $557 back.
Something good to tell my Pop. I was up there for so long, helping out. He's picked up a lot of tabs for me this year. Makes me want to curl up in a ball. I've always taken care of myself. I just, with everything that was happening I just didn't take a "real" job after leaving Casino's last March. I needed to be available to my family. And I was. It was so cool to be up there that long... to be present, to help out Mum. To do the driving to Houston... But yeah. He's picked up an enormous percentage of my bills. Though he said: ALL of your bills are less than a thousand dollars a month! I practically pay that in cable and internet! *sigh*
It's the principal.
But with what is left from my seasonal job at Target, and that?
I won't have to bug him until March--and I will be working by then. I will. Of course I will...
My friend the cop offered me a little part time, reading his textbooks to tape.
I got the email today. I was THRILLED. You know I love the sound of my own voice...*LAUGHING*
And I'll learn stuff, too. Things I hope will help me in the job I feel I am destined for.
CALL ME FOR THE 911 DISPATCH.....please. We all worked so hard on my resume.
I went in, I was there for a ten hour shift...
I discovered my PASSION.
I would be so good at this. I would.
Tomorrow is the 14 year anniversary of Steven931's death.
It hardly seems possible. I usually get quite worked up on the 26th.
Three days, really, the day before--the DAY--and then the 28th when I got the call from California...
from Blanche, his mother.
I'll be driving to my Parents on the 28th.
I knew better than to leave on the 27th.
But it has been a Good Day.
And I've grown.
I'm stronger now, in many ways.
I was 27.
What does anyone know about life, at 27?
I was certain of many many things...actually.
The sort of stuff I am no longer certain of.
But I have worn this skin in a bit, and I wear it more comfortably.
Year of the Dragon. Year I turn 42.
There is a moment, I do not think it is the same for every one...
But there is simply a moment when the absolutes fall away.
And you are grateful.
If only for one Good Day.