Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931) wrote,
Red Lipstick & Green Ink

Sparkling Coconut Water

An odd thought, just now.

I know I have understood this in a fundamental way

all my life--because I have, practised it?

But I didn't really have the words until just now.

I don't TRUST people because I think they are intrinsically TRUST-ABLE...

I do it because I have found, more often than not?

When you place trust in someone, when they KNOW you have?

They hold true. True as they are able.

I know, I know.

That is not a solid saleable argument.

But, it is about a sense of direction that is often unknown.

Once known, it can be followed.

It is so easy to fall into the ready vacuum of my age.

THIS age, and MY age...41.

I don't want to fall.

To idea(l)s.

The balance is strange.

It must be maintained.

Trust is something you hand someone, squirming in a box.

Then it is their turn. More often than not, I have observed...

They do not drop the box.

I was nine years old, fresh from Austin. I missed my friends.

I was bored, and lonely.

We were living in a tiny house on a tiny the Ryukuan chain.

I took a deep breath and walked out my front door.

I met little boys before I met little girls.

They did not like me.

But I followed them. I followed them around where ever they went.

Mud and water thrown at me with taunts I could not understand...

But I didn't stop following them. I knew, they were all I had.

I know I always say this as an aside, "I learned Japanese, while catching tadpoles".

But it's true. And it was a WA-WA moment. I was...kinda good at.....catching them.

And I earned the respect of my tormentors and potential TOMODACHI.

I earned my Friends.

Yeah. Still don't get along with girls... *laughs*

And maybe I have mixed this whole diatribe of TRUST, with something else entirely?

But people don't give you ANYTHING unless you give it first.

We are all afraid.
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