?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]

I went 6 days without a drink, a cigarette, or a cup of coffee...

August 17th, 2007 (12:08 am)

Fell off the wagon tonight.

oh, don't worry--i didn't have any coffee.

The victim in me want's to beg to be checked into some place...
have my meals and exercise forced on me, have the whole idea of being alive again...
spoon fed to me.

After a 5th day of nothing but water, and clean food...
I went to bed after work last night on two benedryl.
Read myself to sleep with the old 1993 Superman Returns
graphic novel covering his death/rebirth and the four who tried to replace him...
oh--you've read it or you haven't.

*laughing*

(It collects "Reign of the Supermen" and concludes the epic story begun in THE DEATH
OF SUPERMAN and continued in WORLD WITHOUT SUPERMAN)

and I dreamed long weird dreams of such things.

Woke up shaky.
Feeling hung over...limbs weak.

Found my pants. A clean work shirt, socks...
and pulled the cat off my Chucks in the kitchen.

Work was one table.
Then I was cut.

The air was full of storm.
We were in the middle, no rain yet.
I should have gone home, but home is hell.
This is the part of the week when I do not sleep on Daniel's couch.

I rode Frances Down Town--the wind nearly blowing us off the street.

Watched Woody's Love & Death
at Casino's....

(Church, it doesn't always help--but it makes you feel something)

Decided to leave just as it began to rain...
Thought I would sit it out in Lovejoy's--as that is where I always park Frances.

Sat and listened to a man I have known forever it seems...tell me how useless he felt
of late. I see him as very successful, but he told me a story of standing in the rain
waiting for a bus with 5 dimes and ten nickels in his hand because his truck was broke.

He didn't have cab fare, and he missed the bus connection he needed to catch to get
to work today because the train crossed just as he was about to dash across the tracks
to the stop beyond. He looked me in the eyes, this big strong person, and said:
You know, if it were even a second or two behind I would have just jumped.

And I know he would have.

But it was RIGHT THERE.
And all I could do was stand there, in the pouring rain.
I pulled a sign out of the ground for (he said the politician's name I cannot remember)
and held it over my head and watched the train pass....as I could see my bus pass,
in the light between the cars.

But Ginger, just sitting here next to you, here, makes me know it is all going to be okay.
It's going to be okay for you too. Don't forget that.


I kissed him, and found my keys, and started Frances up outside.
It was sprinkling.

As I closed in on the house, the rain came harder.
And harder.
Stung my face. Drove into my clothes.
Slipped down through gaps--beat me and snuck into me.

I found myself pulling my lips in, because it hurt, could barely see through my goggles.

They have been working on the road I live on.
In front of my house is a large sign that reads:
ROUGH ROAD

i always laugh when I see it.

Tonight the garage was open, the light was on.
The boy was clearing space, for me or not for me...I do not know.

But when I pulled up, a drenched rat, he greeted me.
We didn't exchange many words, but he asked me if I wanted a beer.
i said yes.

He put a Violent Femmes CD on--a concert he and I went to...
when we were happy...i tried not to make much of it.

I drank my beer out there with him, with few words exchanged.
I've learned not to talk to him.

It was just nice, to come to a place I used to call home,
and feel--for a few moments, in dripping jeans, a shirt plastered to my body...
a cold can of Tecate in my hand?

welcome.

He was cleaning up, doing laundry.
It was weirdly inspiring.

it is over here, I must make the calls.
I must stop staying at Daniel's house when I have days off....
and stay here--so i can finish this. Close the deal.

Transfer utilities, be present for questions and conversation with the house-mates.
I will not get out of this place, on good terms or bad terms...I will not get out of this place
until I can face it.

Everyone has a bible, I guess I read a bit from mine last night.
Where can an ex-Southern Baptist girl go, but Comic Books???

Superman came back, he doesn't even know how...really.
But even though he was weak, he fought the way he always fought.
With his head, and his heart.

*laughing*

No, even I know how that sounds, but trust me--I need it right now.
Spiderman and Batman have their place--but this place?
This place requires the man in the Red Cape.

UberGinger.

I have to come back from the dead.

Comments

Posted by: hairypolack (hairypolack)
Posted at: August 17th, 2007 08:16 pm (UTC)
Dynamic Trio

whats up saturday

we're having a pedicab multiple birthday party- lat enight

I can give you a ride.....

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: August 18th, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)
Flair!

*sigh*

working.

Posted by: hairypolack (hairypolack)
Posted at: August 18th, 2007 10:23 am (UTC)

better that than not working eh?

theres a big birthday party at the NEW pedicab gulag late late sat night!

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: August 18th, 2007 05:14 pm (UTC)

Tell me where exactly...I'm not closing.

Posted by: hairypolack (hairypolack)
Posted at: August 18th, 2007 11:06 pm (UTC)
Pedicab Matt!

3 ways to get there

1) ask any pedicabber at 2:30 ish where the abc/h.o.t shop is- say youre going to b day party- flirt with said pedicabber- they'll give you a ride

2)find me

3) go to 5th street- east side of 35- where the 501 studios are

go down to next street make a right- we're right next to tracks

you WILL hear us!

Posted by: Pumping Iron Hearts (woundedmarigold)
Posted at: August 18th, 2007 01:33 am (UTC)
"I have to come back from the dead."
weeds

Me too.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: August 18th, 2007 01:44 am (UTC)
Re: "I have to come back from the dead."
Boy Of Steel

When we finally meet face to face...

You know more than anyone, I wanted you
to respond to this post.

We'll make it back, Drodz.
We live too fiercely
to die like this.


7 Read Comments