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Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]

It has taken me a few days to process this...

July 12th, 2008 (09:27 pm)

I don't deal with grief well.

I suppose he wasn't really mine.
But what cat really belongs to anyone?



I ran into my 'Ex', Thursday evening on my day off, at Lovejoys.
I had been heading home, and really do not know what made me walk in there
save the fact that for a decade and a half I simply KNOW when I am supposed to.

I was supposed to.

Ben and I had a civilised exchange, even shared a drink...
I could see that he was struggling to tell me something--and finally
he just let it fall out of his mouth and onto the bar.

Kadiddy is dead.

I shattered like glass.
Snotty Weeping.
It simply wasn't possible.



I HATE CATS.
they make me itch, inside and out.
I get rashes, I cannot breathe. I HATE CATS.

But I loved Kaddidy.
He was FIERCE and TINY.
A killer and a cad.

I dosed myself heavily just to live in that house with Maggie and Kaddidy.
Was never really comfortable or healthy...
But somehow late at night when I came home and the house was so lonely...
and that evil little full grown fuzz ball climbed up on the counter by my computer
and kept me company?

Though I could not touch him, he always seemed to understand my affection.

When he'd half killed something mostly his size (the enormous pigeon comes to mind)
he would come to MY window to show it off. Here, G--I got you something!

I would run out to save the poor creature, and he would run past me dragging the still
twitching beast in his mouth--and play freeze tag with me all over the house.

*head in hands*

Oh the feathers and blood....
And squeamish Ginger, beating the life out of a HUGE pigeon on the back porch
with a broom--because I couldn't let it live in such agony??? Somehow I cannot help
but wonder if Kadiddy thought these were TRAINING exercises for me.

He took excellent care of his people. He was a good provider.
Lizards, birds, mice....large LARGE WEIRD insects???

*sigh*

He taught me to kill.



More though, he taught me that passion comes in odd small fuzzy packages.

I never really had a pet before--and he was no pet, mind you...
But I now understand at least to a degree
what all my friends are talking about
when they share about the relationship they have with the creatures
with whom they cohabitate.

He was my Cat.
My very first............

And very likely, my last.



'Barky and Bitey' as Ben and I referred to the dogs who live next door...
tore our Kadiddy apart.

He went down fighting.
I hope he took an eye or two with him.

Edit:
I know he took an eye or two with him.

Comments

Posted by: Bobby (mezaway)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 03:12 am (UTC)
Enki

Your kitty was so beautiful and regal! At least that is how I will remember him! (Your pictures of him are all that I know of him, but my! how gorgeous!)

Posted by: Brandy Eileen (brandyeileen)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 03:12 am (UTC)

I agree. A lovely cat, indeed!

Posted by: Karlita - stepping into my true self (manifestress)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 03:58 am (UTC)

I am so shocked and sad for your loss.

Posted by: Life is just a series of relative disappointments. (pokee)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 05:26 am (UTC)

He was a beauty and a friend. I cried with you over him, although not for the same reasons, I'm sure.

Posted by: BRER RABBIT (brer_rabbit)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 06:31 am (UTC)
EL-P

a very beautiful cat :(

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 06:48 am (UTC)
Catwoman 2

He was a bad ass...
not just pretty.

*exhales*

Posted by: Janine de Luna-Azul (jbluemoon)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 08:07 am (UTC)
sad/or very happy

** sobs **

Posted by: RandomCub (randomcub)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 01:21 pm (UTC)
eyes closed

That is awful. I am so sorry. You can come over and drown your sorrows anytime. (but I'm afraid we have three cats, so prepare to itch!)

Posted by: Orin (rin_o)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 10:41 pm (UTC)
cat's aren't pets, they're advisors of matters unexplainble.
rage

i have seen cats bluff off packs of dogs before. i KNOW, as fact, they can outrun nearly any dog with little trouble, and go places that dogs could never reach without so much as getting winded.

i am, RIGHT NOW, watching a cat peer through a fence trying to get the dog the to come close enough to swat out of mean-sprited fun. the idea that a dog will catch and kill a cat is fanciful at best and a sign of a weak mind at worst.

if those dogs caught the kitty, something helped them. what, i ask, are their owners like?

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: July 13th, 2008 11:08 pm (UTC)
Re: cat's aren't pets, they're advisors of matters unexplainble.
Catwoman 2

pokee said he thought that Kadiddy might have been poisoned or drugged, by people who did not want him in their yard. The gals next door are peace loving hippy folk who wouldn't have done something like that. Protest our cook outs, yes--poison the cat no.

His cat was dosed, vet told him it was not uncommon.

You are right, BARKY and BITEY wouldn't have had a chance at catching that Cat otherwise.

Posted by: Orin (rin_o)
Posted at: July 14th, 2008 03:08 am (UTC)
Re: cat's aren't pets, they're advisors of matters unexplainble.

i thought you texans had a law that let you form an angry mob to beat those people to death in the street with.

seriously, someone poisoned a cat like that out here, they'd be arrested and used as a rental love pocket inside of a month....

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