?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Red Lipstick & Green Ink [userpic]

An hour until work...

August 9th, 2007 (04:26 pm)

Trying to catch up on email, I don't stay at the house that often anymore...

The cat is licking my ankle and I'm in a kimono I got when I was twelve.

*takes off glasses and rubs head*

I am so sick of DRAMA.

I've conjured it most of my life.
I'm the girl from the happy family.
The girl with so much potential.

I find myself, in a place of my own making...

More than the year when my soul mate blew his brains out with a gun,
more than the year my favourite Uncle was murdered...

This has been the worst year of my life.

And I made it.

I made this year.

Nothing HAPPENED that I couldn't control,
nothing happened TO me.

I just sat still and allowed it.

A month and a day from now, I will be 37.

Thirty-Seven.

And I am sitting in a hell I made.

I have amazing Friends, wonderful Parents....
Every reason in the world to make this better.

But here I sit, in an old kimono.

I used to be useful.
I used to be someone someone would want to know.

I want her back.

I just don't know how to dig out anymore.

The earth being shoveled on my face is loose.....
I need only stand up and climb out.

I must find the will, to climb out.

Comments

Posted by: emily (tugena13)
Posted at: August 9th, 2007 09:29 pm (UTC)
wonder twins

i hope you can find the will somewhere within you.

and *I* think you're worth knowing, so there.

*hug*

Posted by: just john (justjohn)
Posted at: August 9th, 2007 10:59 pm (UTC)
If it cheers you up any ...

Any item of clothing I got when I was twelve?

Today, MIGHT fit around my head.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 02:19 am (UTC)
Re: If it cheers you up any ...
Oban Festival

I am the same size.

Posted by: Janine de Luna-Azul (jbluemoon)
Posted at: August 9th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
my clothes from age 12

could barely fit my toe. J/k.

I know how you feel kinda- I'm painted into a corner right now.

Posted by: Janine de Luna-Azul (jbluemoon)
Posted at: August 9th, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
Re: my clothes from age 12

PS: hang in there, baby.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 02:21 am (UTC)
Re: my clothes from age 12

I never grew...

Never got taller, never got bigger.

I got boobs and bush, and just pretty much stoped.

25 lbs more than twelve.

*sigh*

Corners of paint.........ack.
Yeah.

Posted by: hairypolack (hairypolack)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 12:04 am (UTC)

heres how you can be useful...

bake me a cookie!

harrr deee har har!

your cookies be all dat!

(Line from the movie "Pleasantville")
"Those werent your cookies bud!"

how flawed can you be when you have the cookie cakes that make the world go right?

and your asian food cooking get two snaps up!

Posted by: hairypolack (hairypolack)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 12:15 am (UTC)

PS

if youre sick of drama have me and fred come over and provide you with comedy

however much we annoy you, you KNOW you'll forget your worries!

Posted by: sleightgirl (sleightgirl)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 01:51 am (UTC)
Healed

You are worth knowing!!! It's not for you to decided if or if not you are, it's up to the people that know you to decided...I, myself, have decided that you are, so there!

As for useful...you said there were people out there that you would dig for...That's definitely useful.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 02:11 am (UTC)
Cowgirl G

I must say it is a sick twist on my end...
that I count my best FRIENDS by how many would
dig a hole for a body and not ask questions.

*laughing*

I know of only ONE who has said he would do that for me.

Who, I would do that for, is almost as limited.



And touche'
it is always up to others.

Posted by: Coffee Shop Whore (skidspoppe)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 06:46 am (UTC)



So listen, I have this shovel...

Posted by: sleightgirl (sleightgirl)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 01:42 pm (UTC)

See, I would always ask questions, from anyone...6 feet is a long way to dig without a good story to get you through.

Posted by: Orin (rin_o)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 02:43 am (UTC)
relax

all you did was presume things would work out by themselves.

as they say, evil triumphs when good souls do nothing, right? hey i'm evil, so i'd be looking for things that help me out.

maybe it's time to figure out where you can take a charge.

Posted by: Red Lipstick & Green Ink (ginger931)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 08:43 am (UTC)
A Basket Case

why is it you...that i listen to.

Posted by: Orin (rin_o)
Posted at: August 10th, 2007 01:39 pm (UTC)
relax

well, i'm a foul-weather friend. i'm a pain to know if everything goes well, but bad times.....that i know pretty well.

15 Read Comments